Log in

No account? Create an account
I believe in pink...
...I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.
Recent Entries 

Shows I’ve already caught up on/am in the process of watching:

  • Arrow (awaiting 2nd season)

  • Pretty Little Liars

  • Parks & Recreation

  • Last Man Standing

Shows on my “to watch” list:

  • Orange is the New Black

  • House of Cards

  • Doctor Who

  • The Mindy Project

As you can see… my list is running a little low. Suggestions, please?

you carry me
27th-Jun-2014 05:04 pm - So, things are different...
It's only been, oh, 4 years since I've posted anything on this thing, and I don't know why I feel the sudden urge to post something now, but I do. My love of writing still exists though I've been having a terrible block recently. I hate it. But life has gotten the better of me. It's busy and it's changing all the time.. but I love it. Here's a quick rundown:

  • I'm getting married. I am! In October, and to my best friend in the world. Haley loves him and I love him, and I couldn't be happier about it!

  • We just bought a townhouse in a beautiful, family friendly neighborhood. It was a foreclosure home, so we've fun into a lot of work, but it's finally coming together now and we love it. It's exciting :)

  • We got a puppy! He's a Chorkie (Yorkie/Chihuahua mix), and he's cute as hell. He's a lunatic who refuses to be house trained, but he's cute! We love him! Look at this face and tell me he's not freaking adorable!10264532_10100941482533823_4874147287577217089_n

  • I'm a Walt Disney World Cast Member now, which is awesome! It's only part time and I only work about once or twice a week, but I'm loving it. The magic within the park is amazing.

  • I'm a lot less stressed. I've spent the last 8+ years being stressed out every single day. Whether it be about work or raising my daughter alone or scrambling to pay my bills or trying my best to get through college while being a single parent with little to no time to study. It was always just one thing after another, and while life was amazing every day and I loved every single minute of it because Haley is my world, it was just hard. I barely had time to do anything. I barely had the time to spend with her. Now that I'm with Matt, I don't have to worry so much. He makes sure of it. I still work, and I'm still a college student, but I'm not having to practically kill myself in order to get by. I have more time to spend with Haley. I'm able to dedicate more time to making her childhood the best one that I can, and I love it. Less stress is great.

Change can be strange, and trust me... it is, but it can also be amazing. Trust me.. it is. I'm loving it so much. My heart is so full.

And I promise to keep you updated :)
you carry me
30th-Apr-2010 08:23 pm - By request from Jillian..
Here you go:

What is your salad dressing of choice? - caesar

What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? - Olive Garden

What food could you eat for 2 weeks straight and not get sick of it? - Tacos

What are your pizza toppings of choice? - pepperoni

What do you like to put on your toast? - Butter & cinnamon

What color cell phone do you have? - orange & black

Are you right-handed or left-handed? - I'm a lefty :)

Have you ever had anything removed from your body? - Haley...

What is the last heavy item you lifted? - a case of water bottles.

Have you ever been knocked unconscious? - yes

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? - No way.

If you could change your name, what would you change it to? - I'm not sure, but I'd like to have it NOT be as common as "Brittany"

Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000? - Yes

How many pairs of flip flops do you own? - Too many. I live in Florida. If I'm not wearing sneakers for nursing school or high heels for Church, I'm wearing flip flops.

When was the last run in you had with the cops? - when I got into a car accident in 2006...but that wasn't really a "run in." I wasn't in trouble.

Last person you talked to? - Haley Grace. She's singing the alphabet to me now.

Last person you hugged? - Haley Grace

Favorite Season? - Summer

Favorite Holiday? - Christmas

Day of the week? - hmm....Tuesday and Friday. They're tied.

Favorite Month? - September

First place you went this morning? - Kitchen to sign a paper for my mom

What's the last movie you saw? - Lucky Number Slevin... my FAVORITE movie ever

Do you smile often? - yes

Do you always answer your phone? - Nope

It's four in the morning and you get a text message, who is it? - Farrah Ann (my cousin) probably to tell me something either highly annoying or DISGUSTING just to make me mad.

If you could change your eye color what would it be? - bright green

What flavor drink do you get at Sonic? - strawberry lime

Have you ever had a pet fish? - yes. He ran full-tilt into a side of the bowl & died on the first night.

Favorite Christmas song? - We Three Kings

What's on your wish list for your birthday? - already passed

Can you do push ups? - no

Can you do a chin up? - no

Does the future make you more nervous or excited? - both

Do you have any saved texts? - nope

Ever been in a car wreck? - yes.

Do you have an accent? - no, but I've been told by some people that I do.

What is the last song to make you cry? "Let It Be" by The Beatles always makes me a little teary eyed

Plans tonight? - pff no.

Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? - definitely

Name 3 things you bought yesterday? - food, a photo, and a photo frame

Have you ever been given roses? - yes

Current hate right now? - Todd - enough said

Met someone who changed your life? - lots of people have changed my life in one way or another.

How did you bring in the New Year? - at home with my family & fireworks

What song represents you? - "Coffee & Cigarettes" by Michelle Featherstone

What were you doing 12 AM last night? - Watching tv w/ mom

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? - I slept longer than I did last night.
credit: lady_italia3

Why is letting go so hard to do? I can't let go of anything!

Britt's accident, Gramps' sickness & death, Aunt Tina and Nana screwing us out of our own home, the mess that was years 17-19 of my life....Alicia's murder. It's piling on, and I cannot get rid of it! No matter how many years it's been, or how hard I've tried - nothing works.

Am I depressed? Is this normal? I have no fucking idea, but I'm so damn sick of it. It's like every time I get one thing out of my head, something new happens, and I'm right back to square one.

When *he* left, I swore that I was fine. I went right back to classes, and jumped right back into my old life - taking on more of a workload than I ever had, and I fooled everyone into thinking that I was completely ok. The only problem is that I wasn't, and talking to him recently - reliving that entire year recently has only served to make it worse. It's like my  mind is going 100 miles an hour, but the rest of me is at a stand still.

Does this even make sense?

ugh, whatever.....2010 better be an awesome frickin year...
credit: lady_italia3
There is a fine line between love and hate, and I'm not sure which side you stand...

At the risk of sounding like a total wimp right now, I'm going to say something...my heart is broken. I can't believe the things that he did, and then to have the audacity to try an guilt me into forgiving him? What kind of garbage is that?

What "good man" would have the audacity to sit back and promise me that what I'd experience with certain men in the past would never happen again if he had anything to do with it, and then in the same breath, turn around and hurt me ten times worse?

What "good man" would build me back up from the broken mess that I was, only to tear me back down to even smaller pieces?

What "good man" would tell me to my face that he loves my daughter, but go behind my back and tell his friends that he's not sure if he even wants me because he hates kids?

I could go on, and on, and make a list of many ways that this "good man" hurt me, so why the hell would I want to up and forgive him for it? I'm sure that half the women in this world wouldn't even be talking to a man who did the things that he did to me, so he should be grateful that I'm even doing that. I can't be forced or coerced into being with him again after the things that he did. Sure, this all happened a while back, but I haven't gotten over it because I was left to myself to get over it!

To you.... dude, you left me behind, and you expected to pick up the pieces of myself that you'd broken. The pieces of myself that were already broken before you came along and had the audacity to do it all over again. You didn't call, you didn't write, you didn't visit while you were away, and when you did come to town, I had to hear about it after the fact from mutual friends. I started talking to you again because for the life of me, even after all the shit you pulled, i couldn't get over you, and I couldn't bring myself to live a life without you being a part of it. My heart was broken, my health was fucked up, and my life was in ruins because of the shit that you did, and now, two years later, I'm supposed to forgive you? Why? Can you answer that question for me?

Is it because you were such a "good man" to come back around to talk to me after six months? Or because you were such a "good man" to break up with a fiance you made me have to find out about through our friends? This isn't a fantasy land. I can't just up and forgive you because you want me to. I can't do it. I've tried.

It's over, It's done with, and you're the cause for it. From
now on, whatever happens in your life isn't going to include me, and I'm not sorry for that, but you should be.

"Over You"

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

credit: lady_italia3
9th-Dec-2009 06:33 pm(no subject)
Leighton Meester Performing at Jingle Ball!
"You're Not As Cool As You Think You Are"

Love it!
What do you think?
credit: lady_italia3
14th-Nov-2009 10:41 pm - Writer's Block: Chemistry test
I need to take a break from my fic....

Has your idea of the perfect romantic partner changed with age? Do you think we can teach ourselves to desire partners who are better for us or are we constrained by the laws of attraction?

Age has definitely changed my idea of a romantic partner. I don't like the word "perfect," because no one is, and it's not fair to try to place someone that high on a pedestal. Three years ago, I was going after douche bag guys who cheated and broke my heart constantly, but having my daughter and everything that went along with that whole situation when I was 18-19 forced me to grow up and to see things for what they really were. I don't have any interest in dating right now... I figure that I'll find love when it's meant to be. A lot of people tell me that that's how love works, and I think that I believe them. When I do date again, though, I'm definitely not going after the types I did before. I have Haley to think about now.

OK - end of rant, lol.
credit: lady_italia3
14th-Nov-2009 02:34 am(no subject)
How is it that you don't respect me as a person because I disagree with insulting another human being???

some people... *shakes head*

credit: lady_italia3
I've deleted all of my old posts. I think starting over here would be best. I got to where I'd get depressed every single time I signed on here. I'd see old posts about certain things that had happened in the past, and it was just so very sad.

I'm not saying that I regret it all...because I don't, but I don't want to look back and be sad because life isn't sad anymore. I don't want to read those old thoughts and think about how unhealthy my life was at the time. I just want to take all of that as something that happened, but something that I've moved passed.

This is the last time that will be discussed...hopefully.

From this moment forward, no matter what, I won't delete anything else :)

Anyway...I'm going to be coaching Haley bird's first day of cheerleading tomorrow. Coaching 3 yr olds...haha, that'll be hilarious. It's a little bit out of my comfort zone because I've never coached children that young before, but I bought a few books and I think it'll turn out OK.

The last day of the CFYFL cheer season is tomorrow also, but I won't be at the game. Mel is going to have to coach for once because it's not fair that Claire and I did all of the work - as the assistant coaches - and she did nothing but stole all of the credit & treated us like garbage. I mean, we didn't do it for the credit, but that was just plain out rude of her. She didn't do ONE ounce of work for the entire season except order the WRONG sizes for all of the uniforms - twice...and then blame us for it. Whatever, though. Next year, I'm gonna be in charge, I'm gonna make it fun for these girls - which is the whole damn point - and she can sit there as a parent, not a coach, twittling her thumbs on the bleachers every day. I'm done with her bull.

credit: lady_italia3
This page was loaded Oct 21st 2018, 8:06 pm GMT.