I hate life right now...

So I haven't been around lately, and that's because I've been finishing my Ed Westwick site. It's almost completely up-to-date, except for a few photos & then screencaps. ed-westwickworld.net Check it out so far!!

I'm also in the process of creating a "surprise" section of the site. It's going to take me a while to get it finished, but when I do, it'll be pretty awesome, so stick around for updates on that!!

As far as writing goes, I still haven't finished the next chapter of "Woah, Baby!" I'm only about 5,000 words in, and that's just not good enough, lol. I'm going to be trying to get that done tonight so that I can work on the site again later. I think that after this chapter, I'm only going to have an epilogue chapter left.... and then go into the sequel.

I still need to think of a new prompt to the next drabble in "I'll Stand By You Through Anything." I had a million ideas when I started it, but now I'm drawing a blank. If any of you have ideas, I'd be glad to hear them. (It's a CB drabble story).

I also feel a new chapter fic idea coming to me, but I need to work out the details.

As far as real life goes...I'm going back to work - starting tomorrow. It's nothing major. Just the same job as before & less hours. That's fine, though because I have to wait until the summer to get to go back to class. Now I'll have something productive to do during the day. :) yay!

Oh, and I'm going to leave you with Leighton Meester's new song :) I'm addicted!!!

Why is letting go so hard to do? I can't let go of anything!

Britt's accident, Gramps' sickness & death, Aunt Tina and Nana screwing us out of our own home, the mess that was years 17-19 of my life....Alicia's murder. It's piling on, and I cannot get rid of it! No matter how many years it's been, or how hard I've tried - nothing works.

Am I depressed? Is this normal? I have no fucking idea, but I'm so damn sick of it. It's like every time I get one thing out of my head, something new happens, and I'm right back to square one.

When *he* left, I swore that I was fine. I went right back to classes, and jumped right back into my old life - taking on more of a workload than I ever had, and I fooled everyone into thinking that I was completely ok. The only problem is that I wasn't, and talking to him recently - reliving that entire year recently has only served to make it worse. It's like my  mind is going 100 miles an hour, but the rest of me is at a stand still.

Does this even make sense?

ugh, whatever.....2010 better be an awesome frickin year...

Title: I Will Stand By You Through Anything
Pairings: Chuck/Blair
Rating: T
Progress: IN PROGRESS
Summary: Chuck and Blair drabbles
Chapter: 2 - "You Found Me When No One Else Was Looking"

Let me know what you think, and feel free to request other prompts!

There is a fine line between love and hate, and I'm not sure which side you stand...

At the risk of sounding like a total wimp right now, I'm going to say something...my heart is broken. I can't believe the things that he did, and then to have the audacity to try an guilt me into forgiving him? What kind of garbage is that?

What "good man" would have the audacity to sit back and promise me that what I'd experience with certain men in the past would never happen again if he had anything to do with it, and then in the same breath, turn around and hurt me ten times worse?

What "good man" would build me back up from the broken mess that I was, only to tear me back down to even smaller pieces?

What "good man" would tell me to my face that he loves my daughter, but go behind my back and tell his friends that he's not sure if he even wants me because he hates kids?

I could go on, and on, and make a list of many ways that this "good man" hurt me, so why the hell would I want to up and forgive him for it? I'm sure that half the women in this world wouldn't even be talking to a man who did the things that he did to me, so he should be grateful that I'm even doing that. I can't be forced or coerced into being with him again after the things that he did. Sure, this all happened a while back, but I haven't gotten over it because I was left to myself to get over it!

To you.... dude, you left me behind, and you expected to pick up the pieces of myself that you'd broken. The pieces of myself that were already broken before you came along and had the audacity to do it all over again. You didn't call, you didn't write, you didn't visit while you were away, and when you did come to town, I had to hear about it after the fact from mutual friends. I started talking to you again because for the life of me, even after all the shit you pulled, i couldn't get over you, and I couldn't bring myself to live a life without you being a part of it. My heart was broken, my health was fucked up, and my life was in ruins because of the shit that you did, and now, two years later, I'm supposed to forgive you? Why? Can you answer that question for me?

Is it because you were such a "good man" to come back around to talk to me after six months? Or because you were such a "good man" to break up with a fiance you made me have to find out about through our friends? This isn't a fantasy land. I can't just up and forgive you because you want me to. I can't do it. I've tried.

It's over, It's done with, and you're the cause for it. From now on, whatever happens in your life isn't going to include me, and I'm not sorry for that, but you should be.

Leighton Meester Performing at Jingle Ball!
"You're Not As Cool As You Think You Are"


Love it!
What do you think?

Title: Woah, Baby!
Pairings: Chuck/Blair, mainly, but a lot of other couples are tied into it. (NV, NS, NJ, DV)
Rating: M
Progress:IN PROGRESS
Summary: At the end of Chuck and Blair's first summer as a couple, she finds out that she's pregnant. How will they handle it? Where will things go from there?
Chapter: 20

"All that I'm after is a life full of laughter, as long as I'm laughing with you" ~ Daughtry

So I haven't posted in a while, and I'm truly sorry for that! :( I've been writing the next installment of "Woah, Baby!" and trying to pass my A&P 2 class. It's insane! I still need to update the Ed site, too.

Anywho... I've had a few requests to finish this next chapter, and I still need to have it beta'd so I'm going to go get to it! When it's finished, I'll post it here! :)

xoxo
-Britt

P.S. If any of you are having a problem on fanfiction with a review going by the name of Guardian Izz, you're not the only one, and I just wanted to let you know that. A really great writer on the site almost quit writing for a while because this girl reviewed in SUCH a nasty way. I think that it would do us all good to either A.) Ignore her, B.) report her to ff, C.) block her from reviewing. I tried to reply to her telling her that her negativity wasn't appreciated, and she just kept replying with page-long ridiculous sarcasm, lol, so don't try that route. I don't think she cares.

Again.... I'm gonna go write....for real this time, lol.

xoxo

Ed Westwick, Leighton Meester and Jessica Szohr from Gossip Girl got together with a lot of other young stars from shows like Heroes, 90210, and Twilight to make the brand new PSA for One.org - spreading awareness of Poverty and preventable diseases. Check out the video below, and be sure to check out One.org if you're interested!

I went to NYC with my friend Claire, for those of you who didn't know. We had a blast, and went on the GG tour on Sunday. I have a bunch of pictures & will post a picture blog later!

In the meantime..... I did a survey because i was bored and a lot of people have been doing it.